Coping With Being Jouzu ("Skillful")
The Internet is forever, it seems. A friend made a comment about some of the old usenet posts she'd found on the internet via Google search. So just for fun, I did a vanity search using my old email addresses, and I found the following, posted to fj.life-in.japan.
Well, after listening to lots of opinions, here's a list of suggestions:This reminded me of my second biggest annoyance: chopsticks.PROBLEM: You've been in Japan for eight years and speak the language fairly well. You go to a party, bump into one or two people and mumble "sumimasen." Everyone you bump into responds with the compliment, "Aa, Nihongo ga jouzu desu neh!"
What this means:
How to respond:
- Oh, hey! You speak Japanese!
- Nice weather we're having, don't you think?
- Your accent was pretty good when you said "sumimasen." Wow!
My favorite response (and the safest one) is #1.
- Ie, ie, sonna koto wa nain desu yo! [Or other somesuch denial--the degree of self-deprecating humbleness is up to you.]
- Uhh... what? Ni-hon-go... uhh, jawzoo? Wakarimasen. [Said in a really annoying American accent.]
- Anata mo jouzu desu ne. [You too.]
- Aa, domo. [Thanks.]
- Mo hachi nen desu yo. Yahari dekinakattara okashii deshoo! [It's been eight years. If I couldn't, it'd be strange, right?]
- [A Japanese reply so elaborate and florid that I can't write it here 'cause I'm not that jouzu. ;-)]
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! [Said before you either run from the room or hose down the entire party with a fire extinguisher. But do the fire extinguisher thing only if you want a first class tour of the inside of a police box. ;-)]
PROBLEM: It doesn't matter if you've been eating Chinese takeout with wooden chopsticks since you were four. It doesn't matter if you've been eating with chopsticks for years. If a Japanese person sees you pick anything up with chopsticks and not drop it, you're in for: "Aa! Ohashi ga dekimasu ne!" or, "Aa! Ohashi ga jouzu desu ne!"But you gotta laugh. Consider it one of the challenges involved with life in Japan. Think of it a a lousy pickup line--ladies, you know what I mean--the speaker may have absolutely no clue on how you're interpreting these opening lines. And for every idiot you meet there's also a nice person willing to introduce you to a new adventure. In retrospect, I wish I'd laughed a little more.What this means:
How to respond (depending on how polite you want to be and degrading to how sick you are of hearing this):
- I thought foreigners only ate with forks and spoons!
- Nice weather we're having, don't you think?
- Wow! You didn't drop what you were eating! Takashi and I were in the corner laying bets.
- Ie, ie, sonna koto wa nain desu yo! [Or other somesuch denial--the degree of self-deprecating humbleness is up to you.]
- Aa, domo. [Thanks.]
- Anata mo jouzu desu ne. [You too.]
- Yahari dekinakattara tabenai deshoo! [If I couldn't, I wouldn't eat, right?]
- Ara. (Said as you drop whatever you were holding with chopsticks into the speaker's lap.)
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! [Said before you either run from the room or fling your hot tea at the speaker. Same warnings as #7 above apply.]
(c) Wendy Dinsmore 2004