Status Among Expats

"Nihongo ga o-jouzu desu ne?" ("Your Japanese is pretty good.") she said with a big grin. For those who've lived there, that's a tired and ancient phrase, worthy of a good rolling of the eyes.

He grinned back and said, "Maa, neh," a noncommittal answer.

"I lived there for almost eleven years," she said, leaning forward. Ah, I thought. The ritual has begun and the 11-year gauntlet thrown. "How long were you in Japan?"

"I still live there. I work for the troupe on [their retreat on] Sado Island."

"Oh."

Ding! Victory goes to the man behind the table.

I don't know if this happens to expats in other countries, but those foreigners living in Japan tend to foster a unique attitude toward other foreigners. It's a mixed thing: We can use each other's support, yet we don't really want to see others of our kind taking away our glory and making us less a kind of pioneer. Two gaijin strangers will not sit next to each other on the train. Two gaijin strolling down a street in the same neighborhood will give each other the hairy eyeball: "What's he doing on my turf? This is my neighborhood! This chome isn't big enough for more than one gaijin!" Maybe it's the Japanese tendency to hold strangers at arm's length that rubs off on us. Maybe we think that it takes a rare and special breed of foreigner to live in Japan. We want to pat ourselves on the back because we know not many people on our home soil will put up with the nonsense that goes with the lifestyle. But the more foreigners appear, the less special the lifestyle gets.

Once two expats meet on friendly terms, there's an immediate and obvious search to determine the other's status using the following criteria:

1. How long have you been in Japan? I've also noticed this tendency within my hobby, flying. Upon meeting, two pilots always ask each other how many flight hours they have. The longer the time, the better your status.
   • 1-30 days: Green, wet behind the ears, just off the plane. Veterans like to pat this dazzled or distressed newcomer on the head and offer all sorts of advice. Not a threat.

   • 30 days - 1 year: Tourist -- you still haven't committed and could turn tail for home any time.

   • 2-3 years: Starting to pay your dues. Are you an English teacher or what?

   • 4-6 years: Now we're talking. You're good for questions about the best Japanese video stores and where to find cheap foreign groceries.

   • 7-10 years: Veteran. Are you ever planning to go home?

   • 10 years and over: Life-timer. Evidently, this is home for you. Are you nuts?

   • You were born there: Native. Scary.

   
   

2. How's your Japanese? The quality and fluency of your Japanese usage gains you extra points if you're a short-timer. Points off, though, if you're living with or have married a Japanese person because "those language skills just 'rub off.'" Conversely, you can lose lots of points if you've lived in Japan over 25 years and can't say anything other than "Excuse me," "How much," and "Give me that."

   
   

3. What's your profession? Another big issue based on the following:
   • Military: You're considered a tourist--especially if you live on base and can buy cheap American food from the commissary. Most military are stereotyped as never leaving the base except for shopping trips, prepackaged tours, or wild nights of drinking with the "gate girls" who hang around the base gates waiting for an American boyfriend to feed them steaks at the NCO club. Expats on the economy envy you for those commissary privileges, believe me.

   • English teacher: You're considered a newbie or someone who hasn't found a serious job yet. There are exceptions, such as my roomie, who was a career English teacher for ten years because she loved teaching.

   • English language copywriter: This is a profession unique to foreigners; one they don't have to compete with Japanese for. It means you have desirable job skills and can put up with the politics and structure of the Japanese kaisha.

   • Ambassadorial/government: you got your job in your own country and you have a great expense account and spacious government quarters with real furniture, which means you can spend your income on expensive Japanese antiquities. You don't live like the rest of us poor saps, on the economy. Bet you drive a BMW, too.

   • Specialist: You stand at the top of the heap if you have a professional job that you competed with the Japanese for and won. You score extra points for the perserverance and paper trail hell you had to go through to get that job. It's even better if it's a fun job or one in the entertainment industry.

   • Offspring of any of the above: Chances are you were born and raised here and are the closest thing to native... unless you stayed inside base or embassy gates. Scary--one step away from tarento.

   • Gaijin Tarento: Foreign TV personality, someone who is usually born in Japan and speaks fluent Japanese. Other gaijin hate you.

   
   

   

4. Hardships: The more stories you have to tell, the higher you score. Extra points if you:
   • Completely furnished your first apartment with things you scrounged from the garbage (even more impressive in these tight economic times).

   • Found an apartment on your own after having many doors slammed in your face.

   • Successfully navigated your way through the Japanese medical system... while you were sick as a dog.

   • Commuted to work daily using the JR Yamanote, JR Tokaido, Keihin Kyuuko or Eidan Tozai/Ginza lines... during peak rush hour. ("People were packed in so tight you could hear bones crack.")

   • Navigated through heavy traffic on a bicycle while juggling three bags of groceries and a VCR. In the rain.

   • Found your first job after you arrived in Japan, proceeded through Immigration Hell, and actually emerged sane.

   
   

   

5. How "hen" are you? You're considered a "hen-na gaijin" or a weird foreigner, if you adopt the Japanese lifestyle and like it. Bonus points for:
   • Sleeping on a futon.

   • Eating Japanese food every day, even if you don't have to. Bonus points for learning to cook it "homestyle."

   • Working in a kaisha.

   • Really appreciating traditional "square" things like festivals and bon dancing.

   • Knowing the neighborhood better than neighbors who've lived there all their lives.

   • Visiting more sites around the country than most Japanese (it's cheaper to travel outside the country than within it).

   • Wearing yukata around the house.